Are we friends?

Is friendship a must ,
if it is then trust is a must,
barely a week
and I can see what he standS to gain,
this causes me great pain
is friendship a must ?
or like lust?
cash in and cash out?
what about trust?
he says he wants to be a friend
but who is a friend?one  who stands with u at wits ends
beats bends with u,
 reach great ends to make amends
is who i would  consider in the end,
now as i put on my blush,
all my make up on,
i must endure the pawns,
cause i know my end game,
i make friends for no gain,
except to enjoy them freely,
i know it sounds geeky,but recently , people i meet
seem a little steep,
no scruples at all in stealing meat( that's a joke)
I'm not accepting defeat and saying all life affairs are just feat
but i mean is this a great feast ?
and we are all meat?
are we friends to achieve our own ends,
or to chase dead ends and make amends
are we friends?

I MAY LOVE HIM...............

The first day at a new job

Is a little odd,

No hugs or reward just an odd boss,

 Like the first day of school,

Groups of moody children,

Broody and all,

I hate first dates,

So I didn’t hesitate

I jumped into it

I said my hi's as swiftly as goodbyes,

Settled into my good book,

Then he came along,

With his goofy smile, 

And funny style and I lied,

How wouldn’t I,

He seemed so far away from the place,

It seemed as if we were from the same state,

How could I be the same old me,

So he asked me my name and I lied,

He asked me where I stayed I avoided,

There’s no way he was going to get me,

With his silly eyes and innocent smile,

No way could I love him,

He’s just a boy,

I don’t need any more toys,

But a toy he was not,

And as the days passed by,

Bonds were forged,

I look back and wonder why I held back,

Now that is all passed,

I’m no longer the new girl,

Or the shrewd one,

I’m just the one,

Who may love u?

We’ve been through long walks and long hauls,

Sweet talks and bitter wars,

But at the end of the day,

I can roll over and say hey,

You’re my friend and I may love u………

THE LAST FIRST DATE

We met at a crowded bar, I spotted him running over to meet me, phone in hand and I smiled, he looked a Little awkward without the comfort of his suits. We exchanged pleasantries and made way to our table. He had brought a friend along (a safety net). 

I said “hi, my name is pretty and what’s Ur's?"His friend laughed.

a football game was on and his friend had so much to say to him,i started feeling like a third wheeler ( I wondered why he invited me when he and his friend hadn't had enough time together) I hugged my BB and started making love to it with each tap of the buttons. He saw my arousal and my blush; he got jealous of an inanimate object. He struggled to steal the phone from me that only made me climax with laughter. We made little talks and I tried to involve his friends but I was out of his league and I knew it.

He pulled me close at the table and tried to steal a kiss, I laughed and said “I’m an old layer" meaning I'm no Green horn. He smiled I could see he was intimidated but I didn't care.

We headed out and I wanted to feel sand in my shoes so I asked him to take me to Sheraton's artificial beach. We were barely there when I started seeing familiar faces and he ran like a little kid instead of waiting to be introduced. We found a suitable tree then his phone rang, like a little child he giggled and clutched the phone, asked for foreign gifts and missed calls. I tried to endure all this but it was 9: 30 and I did not need this. So I edged towards the door and he called on and said hold on. I smiled and waved at him because I knew this was my last first date with him.

My Work Ethic

I Work In A Male Dominated Industry And I Consider It A Plus ,Not A Negative Because If I Can Make It In The Field Of Engineering Then I Can Make It Through Life.  I First Saw Construction Going On At Age 9 At The Time I Wanted To Become A Pilot I Never Knew That My Life Would Revolve Around Cement And Stone Dust. In The University I Realized I Didn't Have A Flair For Engineering But I Was Too Stubborn To Quit. I Had Average Grades And Scaled Through .In The Real World I Made My Decision, I Would Never Be A Field Officer. I Would Work In The Office As Engineer (Office). Most Engineers  Love To Get Dirty But I Love Mathematics And Computers, High Heels And Nail Polish, I Love To Dance Wild And Stay Weary Eyed.
I Thought The Office Will Be Perfect For Me. I Forgot how  Eccentric And Different i am. I Forgot The Office Politics And Type Pettiness, I Forgot The Unruly Behavior Of Adults In A Secluded World, I Forgot About The Gossip, The Cliques And The Back Stabbers And The Pseudo Friendships. I Forgot It All.
I Entered The Jobs For The Package And The Experience, Now A Few Years Down The Road; I Don't Regret My Office Calling  or The Politics Have Been Involved In. I Have Been Accused Of Manipulation And All Sorts :The Jealousy And The Bickering. It Has all lead me To This Place To Ask This Question. What Is My Work Ethic? Do Anything Or Everything To Get The Job Done ? Or Fight Dirty And Get The Job Done? As I Approach The New Year I Have To Work On My Work Ethic Cause I'm Sure The One I Have now  Cannot  Survive The Battles I See Ahead But Forge Ahead I Will. It’s My Life And No One Or Anything Can Stop Me. i'm here to win it all!!!

christmas and me

you have to understand where i started from to get my fear for the jingles ( Christmas)
as a 9years old i tried on my Christmas dress and burnt it by mistake( i decided to lit a match for no reason)
i ended up wearing something else.
the shy one out of four siblings with no friends, i didn't get invited to parties much so Christmas like most of my birthday i spent sick and surrounded by family . i sought to seek attention but it never really came my way till i fell sick. who needs to be sick half the time just to get your mothers attention?
i grew up and was sent to a boarding house where i learnt being fragile wasn't an asset , i was mocked and pushed around till i found solace in God and church. i was good at that ( smiling)
i left the secondary school and realised i was pretty and the first time a guy walked up to me, i ran all the way home. i never really like being chased around till date.
i finally went out of my shell and i discovered friendship and companionship and Christmas, Val's and Easter were all taken Care off. after a couple of years i as used to having a partner but he got bored of having a partner we split. several months later i had another and not long after that , another but this year i decided to stop being afraid of spending time alone and not entering into relationship because I'm scared of spending the holidays alone.
i spent this Val's myself it depressed me that at 9pm i shed a tear but i wouldn't quit i was too far to back down.i spent Easter with a friend and now this Christmas is here again. i had plans to travel with an ex to Dubai but whats the point ( he still a boy) not ready to be the man i need to be with. hence we had a fight and now I'm out of plans.Christmas and me ? mmh what should i do? book a few nights at a hotel with some girls/ or sit at home and watch my parents ? or go shopping till i drop or spend it alone behind closed doors reflecting /? what should i do? Christmas and me?