WHO ARE YOU?

 I met her at a work meeting, the sun was shinning and it was a regular day, she walked over to me and said "hey, do I know you somewhere?" I have photographic memory I never forget a face ,and I say no ( but she’s a girl, if it’s a guy i would have said " cheap pick up line",but shes a girl, so i listen some more then she asks the schools I attended and we have no-no there ( i grew up north and she grew up south ). I look at her she seemed harmless so we became chatty not long after that I started complaining at the scarcity of hot guys at the meeting and she agreed with me on that , she goes out to her car and comes back three buttons down on her shirt and I’m like girl ( are u trying to steal my man ?( a hot south African at the high table who hadn't even looked at me ) and  she says I’m trying to seduce you.......( I laughed!!!) I found out later that day that it wasn't a joke when I saw her drooling at me!!! She’s bisexual, she insists shes not a lesbian but im not the first girl she has ever liked ( this gets me thinking......till now by the way), she wants the white picket fence and the kids but she won’t mind a girl once in a while. 


What’s your sexual orientation??? 

What makes us straight or gay, is everything in life grey neither black or white ??? Is there a fence on everything? I know this is a controversial subject but I’m just asking questions??? What’s makes us behave the way we do? (  this is not a timlaye book) Our upbringing ?, environment ?, religion ?or our choices? What do we use to make our choices???

 When is enough enough?in terms of choices ? when is sitting on the fence not cool or cool? when is it right not to decide? when is it right not to pick a side at war? everyday we are at war and we take sides, in the office, at home, taking sides is a culture! being in between (mmmh?????)

 As Africans, we are born traditional. Are we too civilized now that we are so open minded to everything? 

Or are we hypocrites suppressing our true desires so we fit the profile?

 Do we love the people in our lives because they have the right credentials or because when they walk into a room it seems as if the lights come on? Do we love the people in our lives for security or general acceptance? why do we love or marry? what leads us to make a lifetime decision to marry anyone? the credentials  or our hearts?who are we? and who are these people that we are deciding to let into our lives?do we know who they are? do we want to really know them? or are we happy with the telescopic view of our loved ones? is too much information detrimental to love? who are you?

Are we who we are because we are told it’s who we are supposed to be? Or are we who we are because we are tired of fighting everyone and we want to blend in?

Who are we? Winners or losers? Who are we? Straight or gay? Are we in between in every decision in our live that even in the bedroom we don’t have a preference? 

Sit down and think clearly, your thoughts are yours alone but between chocolate ice cream and chicken and chips, chocolate ice cream will win for me?

 I choose to decide not to be on the fence? I’m so tired of listening to people saying( I have two girls I don’t know which one to marry they are both good)  the truth in my opinion not choosing is a decision to ( and it means none is good enough) ,

 I have three guys I’m confused ( none is good enough) no two things or people are equal? Everything is unique and if it doesn’t stand apart to you then don’t choose it. 

Love is easy; the decision to be in love is  made subconsciously, without asking for your permission your heart starts to reach for David’s or Martha’s? So many better qualified guys or girls but you miss this one more, you would hop on a 12hour flight for Julie but you won’t for Dan?

I believe there’s always a choice and being in between is denying the truth, what is your heart saying?for instance, I kiss him without starring in his eyes because I’m scared he will see that I don’t love him as he does me but I kiss him because today no one in the whole world looks at me as he does now.

Sometimes we settle because we can’t get what we want, sometimes we hang in the balance because we fear acknowledging our choice is not the popular choice is hard?

 But are we happy in between? Do we shut our eyes when we are in between and wish we were in an alternate universe where there will be no judging? If I marry a guy who the whole doesn't think is good enough for me , i will suck it up if I wake up in the morning and I see him lying next to me and my heart flutters with joy the judging eyes cannot see.

 I choose to decide because I choose to be happy!! I choose green tea over coffee, writing over idle chatter, church services over random dates, dancing over video games, romance over empty sex, what do u decide? Who are you? I’m a romantic, I am waiting for my happily ever after, and I pray for my forever what do you wait for? Darkness or million bucks? Make a stance, pick a date, and make a choice? Set the pace, please stop hanging in the balance its unfair to the world, it’s unfair to you, you deserve better my dear, you do.