I don't love you

He called earlier today as I did the dishes and as he chatted on, I pondered on, I have always known he did not love me but as he spoke on I wondered why not. The heart never lies, mine has never told me it felt something it didn't but sometimes especially today I wish it was making a mistake and that his subliminal rejection wasn't real and that I wouldn't have asked him point blank " do u or do u not?" I still hear the echo of how he completed the sentence , love you? I can't believe how it sounded so ridiculous coming from him, the thought of it gives me shivers. I continued the conversation with such grace even queen Elizabeth would be proud, the feisty small town girl acting like Julia Roberts in pretty woman. Someone incapable of pretense pretending not to care. Pretending not to care is a hobby for a friend of mine! She hasn't been on a date all year except to weddings of ex boyfriends . I Hate not caring, I care. I care even when I say I don't care. To love is a decision that comes with responsibility and trust. Do I love you? How can I love someone who can't hold my hand when I am scared to cross the road. How can I love someone who lies to be with me? How can I love someone who I think that if he sees all of me he won't stay? How can I love you? How can I love someone who can't get past my last name? How can I love someone that can't be with me come what may? How can he love me when I accept him flawed instead of perfect? Some lovers seek someone who sees them as they are! Some seek someone who sees who they can be ! Some seek who sees what they show them. I seek one who sees every side of me and stands with me.I know this sounds silly but if this is silly to you, you see we are not meant to be. So never question why he /she doesn't love you? The answer is they just couldn't because the heart wants what it wants and the body needs what it needs. Move on, don't let any phone call , text message or bum hold you down. True love exists but only the brave find it, and when you do never let it go..... I love you, and no One Else would do,(find me!)